We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Teratoma

by 15,000 Guns

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
It’s been so fucking long Since I felt what I felt at the forum that day The fog clears and I inhale 100 meters And forget about all of the letters I wrote to god Wishing for rockslides and pillars of affection And things being the way you wanted Home alone is never enough for me I try to stay occupied Thinking it knows me better than ever before And that we all forget what we want in life But I can’t help but long for something more Something that will hold me tight and never let me go With a stroke of inspiration I get out of bed, tidy up the house and prepare for evening I copy number 23 from my notes and hit send You’re excited to see me I set the table—fork on the left, knife on the right My reflection in your eyes in mine Mother’s sprouts never tasted so good Waters will always rise on the eastern seaboard And I cannot continue I stand up and steal your eyes Grip the metal on the right Prop my foot up on the chair Wavering wildly I declare I can’t forgive you for all those days Where metal teeth killed plastic ways Of getting through my darkest spells Goodbye my friend I wish you well I stick the knife in
2.
Influence 04:26
You looked so sweet You looked so nice Out there, along on the shore line For all the world to see, but only for me I’d send you my love, and you’d requite in red All my thoughts went to you, your penthouse, my head Oh god you looked so sweet You looked so nice My god And I remember that moment, afternoon in the park Your Raw fur coat against my tan canvas hide Brushing shoulders, exchanging hands, sharing eyes We’d found each other my darling, it all felt so right Month after month we’d sit and talk at that same spot I’d noticed your love pine away with our time Yet still I’ll follow, Gliding under familiar snowy sky lights Back to 65th and Heaven, where your face rests so fine And you’d You looked so sweet You looked so nice Back in your penthouse Is where I’ll be with you Tonight Confusion in elevators, they’d asked me a janitor I chuckled at the cat and mouse you’d put on Off at the 23rd, in through your threshold now You turned around, grabbed a knife and screamed Happy to see me? This act being pushed further than the blade in my shoulder Our lovers quarrel, trying to subdue you, pushing against glass walls Startled, I fell away from you, drudged to my hole in the cold And Realized You Never Knew Me The white and red fall Merging with the concrete beneath I look out on a city I no longer know Realizing the damage I’ve done I recall your handle in my arm as a final reminder of what could have never been I have no other option from what I must do And so I bid your city farewell As the heat in my head gives me no other way but to follow suit
3.
Penelope 04:23
I feel the same thing every single day out on this island Picking sticks and stacking stones to just survive in This lonely place where all I have is the birds and the trees and myself Your ugly faces creep into my dreams at night Of all the places where you could get up, go, and die Of every time that your fucked up face held a lie I touch my teeth To the eyes of the metal drum That beats along to your footsteps Penelope weeps For 20 years I thought that you and me, we thought the same Just sitting by the river thinking, drinking thoughts for days Now I have 6’3” of lead coursing through my veins Manipulation tactics fill the space between my mind And the trail of dying wishes that you left behind Looking back, know I’ll never find peace of mind ever again I’ll have it your way 40 lifetimes of nothing Just to feel your touch You come home and act like everything’s just fine (Lying out your fucking teeth and) Every year of pain was a year you were on my mind (All day you make me think of it) All those questions and answers will never be found (Eating lies and spitting blood and) Writing my blueprints and I know that I need you under the ground (Right where you belong forever) And I take the rains Just like you always did I take the rains Just like you always did For all the things you did, I will not forget those eyes (Dilate for the time you have left) When I stood up cleared my throat and freed your mind (You feel nothing in this choke hold) Every waking moment that you’re breathing is a needle in my spine (Terrified you reached up with your hands and touched my heart one last time) You deserved what I did to you and I can finally rest knowing you’re mine (I feel the power seeping out of your blood and into mine)
4.
P!nk Dr!nk 03:45
I feel the seasons Changing underneath me All your held up reasons Fall beneath trees Forget to breathe Every time You stand here dyeing Blood in your hair P!nk P!nk is all I see, on the count of three you come to me blood running down your cheeks onto my shoulder You tell me you don’t believe I really loved you and that it’s all the same in death I step back and wipe my tears and wipe your blood Feel it again, that sense I understood Flickering in and flickering out It’s not roses I bled for you It’s what I knew You opened your heart You bled it too No longer attached, I remember my life for once was Once connected, we’re both at fault No longer attached, we tore each other both away Once connected, we both bleed the same My vision clear now, I see it clear All our blood I bled I bled too I bled too
5.
I know what your heart holds I know what your heart holds Butterflies Nest in your eyes Waiting for your wings to dry Longing to see you grow I leave you there alone Hoping the sun will shine And leave you lifeless You did it on your own There is so much love in the world There is so much pain in your heart You’ll just rest here in my arms You’ll just rest here in my arms
6.
Pinprick 06:16
Embrace the hollow home Distracts from empty cold Your comfort, now a pinprick Lays walls in my veins And I feel I’ve gotten by With spoons’ warmth inside But rock nor balloon can replace The shelter i had in your face Embrace hollow homes Divert, arms not your own Your comfort, vague and distant I’d pay to feel it again Suffering through night in night repeat Stands and calls refuge, no ends meet Numbing pain from thoughts of you Crawl the streets, take in the views No escape, thoughts intrude, of how I once dug a wound Behind your eyes, turned them off, well intentioned, but unresolved With swaying step, turn the corner and gaze Seeing outlines in the distance in garbage (building?) fire blazes I still see your face in the fire feel your warmth by my side (From the smoke comes a sweet familiar scent So near, I feel your sweat on my brow) Draw closer to the light now The solid figure takes the form of what you once were (Your taste emerges onto my tongue Savory just like I remember) Fall away from the blaze as we once did Come down from the visions and kneel (We’ll never be the same now For all I’ve done and now taken away)
7.
Your love is dried out on the floor That held our organ from before That kept me speaking to the core I pull your letters from the bed And there’s more And you say it’s alright You’ll never feel alone again In the sky, where we die You’re talking on the phone again Moving on, packing bags I’m never coming home again I’ll sink a needle in my soul For giving in when I lost control I feel your eyes in the sky And you go higher and higher And you say it’s alright You’ll never feel alone again In the sky, where we die You’re talking on the phone again Moving on, packing bags I’m never coming home again And I run
8.
Where’d you go I want to taste your breath I want to hear you bleed I want to eat your teeth Is it even worth it any more If you don’t scream for me How can I hear you bleed I want to see your teeth One last time (Do you ever feel the earth Shake beneath you And you just let it crumble Again) Don’t you fucking leave me I was just getting started I was just getting comfy I’ll follow if I have to I love you (I fill my hands with earthworms Tuck the crow between my thighs And hold on for dear life) I want To make you feel So worth it My nails in yours It feels the sun And tastes like a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day I talked to god 23 and Prop my foot up Plastic ways Butterflies are In your eyes the Sun shone bright So much love and Packing bags it’s To the core All in all the Blade goes deeper I love you more
9.

credits

released November 10, 2023

Michael Mendelson - Guitar, Vocals, Synth, etc...
Josh Rubin - Guitar, Vocals, Synth, etc...
Jimmy Huang - Bass Guitar
Sawyer Flanagan - Drums
Ray Fairbank - Pedal Steel (tracks 6 & 7)
Andreas Paljug - Modular Synth (track 3)
Dion Backus - Ahhhhhh (track 9)

Recorded & Mixed by Graham Tavel at Mirror Mirror Recording Studios
Mastered by Jesse Mangum
Album cover by Mason Mann

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

15,000 Guns Atlanta, Georgia

welcome to the 8th layer of hell

contact / help

Contact 15,000 Guns

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like 15,000 Guns, you may also like: